Motivation

I can NOT believe I am going to be 30 in one week...ugh. I don't know why but it's just recently starting to bug me. In fact, the idea of turning 30 didn't even bother me a bit until November rolled around. I guess it's easy not to worry about 3o when you're not ;).

I don't think it's entering my thirties that is really bothering me...it's leaving my twenties. My entire life was given to me in my twenties...a lovely home, amazing friends, a wonderful husband, and three beautiful children. I feel like there is nothing else to look forward to...nothing new anyway :(. I must look at the positive side though. My late twenties have been FANTASTIC! Maybe it just keeps getting better?. I better just enjoy being a mom in my thirties...it is quite possible that I could become a grandma in my forties ha ha.

Ugh...now I am back to wallowing about the upcoming 30. Maybe some motivation will come with that number. I have become very disappointed with my work-out ethic. I have just gotten so lazy when it comes to the gym. I am also starting to feel like I am only going so that I can remain slim...not to get the toned body that I WANT. In fact, I don't feel that I have accomplished much at the gym in the two years I have been working out. Where are those abs that I so desire? Sigh...obviously I don't desire them enough because I sure as hell don't work hard towards them. Maybe I just need a change. I am going to switch to SWAT in January and see if I can find some motivation there.

I took my third test at school last night. I missed one and I was PISSED (that's an understatement). My expectations for perfection are INSANE. I think there were four questions that I wasn't 100% sure about last night. I ended up getting three of the four right, I got a 97.5% instead of the possible 90%, BUT I was effing pissed for missing ONE. Then I had to have one of those talks with myself...calm down Heather, you are NOT trying to get into medical school anymore...you still probably have the highest grade in the class. The silliest part is that I already have over 100% in the class. Ugh...my poor kids. Luckily, they have their Dad...he is much more easy going when it comes to that stuff.